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One of my favourite stories of recent days didn't quite make the grade in the Birmingham Post and got chopped down to 100 words or so - and can't even be found on the website.
That may very well be the fate it deserves, but by the power of the Interweb I present it here anyway, as I liked it. The MP concerned told the House of Commons that this was "serious monkey business".
Cheeta the chimpanzee should receive an Oscar for his role in films and television shows including the Tarzan movies, according to a West Midlands MP.
Mark Pritchard wants the 76-year old animal to receive recognition in order to raise awareness of thousands of primates kept as pets.
Mr Pritchard (Con The Wrekin) launched a campaign to win an honorary Oscar for Cheeta as he presented proposals to change the law in the House of Commons.
He submitted a Bill which would make it illegal to trade primates, such as monkeys, apes or lemurs, as pets.
He said: "Keeping primates as pets is like something from Victorian times.
"It is outdated, and comes from a dark period for animal welfare in this country."
But the Victorians at least had the excuse that they did not realise that many primates were in danger of extinction in their natural habitat, he said.
Even owners who tried to take good care of primate pets were unlikely to be able to provide a suitable environment, he said.
"It is estimated that up to 3,000 primates are currently being kept as pets in the United Kingdom.
"Many are kept in cruel and cramped conditions, but by no means all of them.
"But whatever their captive conditions, these wild animals will always remain wild. These are animals that need large areas of vertical and horizontal space.
"They need certain room temperatures and humidity, long hours of natural sunlight and a varied and balanced diets."
Mr Pritchard asked MPs to back his campaign to ensure Cheeta received an Academy Award, commonly known as an Oscar, to publicise the condition of primates kept as pets.
Cheeta appeared in 12 Tarzan movies in the 1930s and 40s, and currently lives in retirement in California.
Personally I'd love a monkey as a pet. Does this make me a bad person?
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